Sometimes no blog is better than this blog

I don’t feel like writing. I’ve sat here staring at this screen for an hour. I get five or six words into a sentence then angrily smash the backspace key and wipe the slate clean. It’s only the 4^th and this month of blogging is proving to be super taxing already. I came home from work tonight with all sorts of ideas for writing. I ended up taking a four nap instead. I woke up with no motivation what so ever, most likely because I knew I had just ruined my night. This is gonna have to do for the night. I am just gonna read and hope for some sleep.

Everyone needs an Osama Blog

Is anyone ever going to be happy? We killed Osama bin Laden. The man was responsible not only for the deaths of Americans but as well as people of other nations. An elite team of spec ops soldiers executed a near perfect mission (equipment failure) and took him out. Now everyone is crying for proof and saying show us pictures. Why the burial at sea? Why did they shoot him, he was unarmed? Conspiracy theories I’m not even going to repeat because they are just stupid. What’s it say about us that we feel we’re always being lied to?

I feel that this administration has handled this completely appropriately. There are things the average person will never know regarding this situation or other situations like it. Sometimes security trumps transparency. I think the proof should have been made available sooner but this is a delicate situation for everyone. Everything that happens now has to be met with extra caution. We have always been a terror target and we will always be one.

Why did we kill him if he was unarmed? How was he resisting? Does it really matter? I don’t know of a single person who would have done it differently. Killing him was our best option for many reasons. Had we captured him alive, we would have to secure him in a prison somewhere. The threat level knowing he was alive would always be elevated. Eventually he would have to be moved for trial, Red Cross workers would want access to him to verify he is being treated fairly. With so many people involved with his security, keeping a lid on his location would be extremely difficult. We knew of his death two hours before we were told about it. We would surely learn where he was being kept. Just think of the possible attacks on bases where terrorists think he might be held.

I understand about the bloodlust we Americans felt. I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t desired to kill the man myself. We already killed the man most terrorists viewed as the figurehead of Al Qaeda. As Americans we do need to show some resolve when handling his death. His followers are already angry we killed him; we would just intensify the hate by plastering the world news with images of his corpse. Some would argue they hate us anyway and showing the picture wouldn’t change a thing and for the most part they are right. By not plastering the news we are showing that we had a problem, we took care of it, and we don’t need to glorify it. We don’t need to show them what we will do to our enemies; chances are they’ve seen it firsthand.

Why the burial at sea? Why not? The most hated man in the world deserved a lot worse than a sea burial; he did not deserve to be put in the ground. I heard so many things and I am guilty of saying some of them. Bottom line when they had the body he posed the same security risks as if they had captured him alive.

For an administration that I have had a hard time agreeing with just about anything they’ve done, I back this fully. It’s common sense people. Let this victory sink in and enjoy it if you must. Don’t jump to conclusions and start make assumptions and conspiracy theories, sometimes things are just as they seem.

Stating your goals, ensuring you follow through

My buddy Stephen McKee is doing this 90 day vlog; it’s his Roadmap to Success or something like that. I like the idea. He is gonna document his successes and short comings along the way. I wanted to do it but I didn’t prepare enough and my obvious goals weren’t so obvious to me. In a conversation with him he had to point them out to me, I was like duh how could I not realize that. In that conversation, I realized how truly simple and content my life has been. I have two kick back jobs that pay decent. I have no bills other than rent and car insurance and basic expenses. I’ve been living my life on cruise control. By no means was I miserable about it. I’ve had a basic idea of what I wanted my future to look like. I haven’t told many people these plans so here is my basic timeline of what I want to accomplish.

By the end of the year I want to have all my licenses and certifications to be a firearms instructor. I want to start January by being self employed. In the mean time I am still going to apply at every agency that is taking applications and if I get hired on then awesome. I am still sticking to my timeline. Now that it is out there, I expect to be called out on it.

EverydayMay

Well today starts another month of blogging. I usually blog at night after I have composed my thoughts and ideas. These thoughts and ideas usually get strung together in a way that usually only makes sense in my head. I had some really good ideas for a blog tonight but now all I can think of is the death of Osama Bin Laden. I hate to start the month off with what amounts to basically a cop out blog, but I think I have a good excuse tonight. I am very thankful to our armed services, congrats on a job well done.

Tomorrow I will have a "real" blog.

Condition white could have killed me.

So I just took a vacation where I spent 5 days in training and shooting guns. I will post a blog about that at a later date. In the training I we have it beat into our heads to always do a chamber check and mag check. Well the other night I was bored and had a case of insomnia I decided to clean my gun and magazines. Being safe I unloaded my magazines and locked the ammo up. I took my time I was watching a movie and cleaning, I was off in LaLa land. I finish up and its about 2am and I put everything away. Insert magazine and put gun away. Morning comes and I am in a hurry I get ready put my gun on and head out the door. Well two days go by and I go to change holsters and I notice my gun feels light. After cleaning I never loaded my magazines up. For two days I carried an unloaded weapon. How could I forget what was drilled into my head over and over again. Just a reminder to always stay vigilant with safety and never allow yourself to be in condition white. I'm just glad I didn't need to use it.

When seconds feel like days

I feel like I am constantly in some form of transition. Where nothing is ever quite where I want it to be, and when I think it’s there I find out its back in the other direction. I’m 30(almost) and up until a year ago I felt lost at sea. No matter what I did I never felt that passion for what I was doing. I was just paddling into the open sea hoping to be “carried away on the crest of a wave.” Hoping that I would learn to love what I was doing. I took some leaps into what I thought I would love and found out that it just wasn’t for me. I finally have some direction and have the fire for what I am planning on doing. It’s all I can think about. I know it’s great but it’s making it hard for me to give a shit about my day job in the mean time. The whole time I am there all I can do is think about the day I quit. I keep telling myself only 3 more months, but each passing day feels like an eternity. Here is to blue skies and smooth seas until then. This too shall pass, right?

First day of my life

This Song has been stuck in my head all day.

This is the first day of my life

I swear I was born right in the doorway
I went out in the rain suddenly everything changed
They're spreading blankets on the beach

Yours is the first face that I saw
I think I was blind before I met you
Now I don’t know where I am
I don’t know where I’ve been
But I know where I want to go

And so I thought I’d let you know
That these things take forever
I especially am slow
But I realize that I need you
And I wondered if I could come home

Remember the time you drove all night
Just to meet me in the morning
And I thought it was strange you said everything changed
You felt as if you'd just woke up
And you said “this is the first day of my life
I’m glad I didn’t die before I met you
But now I don’t care I could go anywhere with you
And I’d probably be happy”

So if you want to be with me
With these things there’s no telling
We just have to wait and see
But I’d rather be working for a paycheck
Than waiting to win the lottery
Besides maybe this time is different
I mean I really think you like me